Post by larryl on Apr 28, 2024 20:35:06 GMT -5
We open up after Warzone in the locker room, after Larry has successfully defeated, with help from Gabriel Tuck, Eoin O’Rourke. Larry looks angry, really pissed off. His best friend, Mike, is there, decked out in all the Larry Lansdowne merchandise possible. Larry walks into the changeroom and smashes his locker, before grabbing a towel and sitting down.
Mike - What’s wrong? You got the pin. Who cares how?
Larry – I fucking care! I came here to prove a damn point. I want to beat the best to be the best. Instead, I fight some weird demon that just disappears, and then, just when I was getting ahead and ready to finish off that idiot Irish man who’s name I can’t pronounce, Gabriel Tuck comes in and gets in my way. I don’t need help from anyone here, I can do it myself.
Mike – Forget about it, it’s just one match. Tuck is an idiot, I saw him get upset at a door before because he was pushing, when it said pull.
Larry – It’s my second match. Sure, I’m undefeated, but what’s the point if I didn’t actually do it myself. I can already see the headlines back home “Larry wins by default; can he really achieve success in the US?”. Screw them, I have my mission. Gabriel Tuck needs to stay out of my way, everyone here needs to stay out of my way and let me do this myself. I have my eyes on the big prize, and honestly, if someone interrupts again, I’ll beat the living shit out of them.
Mike – I love when you get angry. I want to see that Larry anger, it’s needed here. But forget it, you won, move on to whatever jobber they get for you next.
Larry – You’re right, I won, Gabriel is on my hitlist, and it’s time to move on. But the next guy I face better watch out. He’s already running into a steam train, and if anyone tries to jump in, I’ll destroy them both. I have a plan, my mission, and nothing will get in my way. There will be no failure, anyone who fights me will learn what Aussies can really do.
Larry grabs his gear and heads to the showers. On his way he smashes another couple of lockers, obviously not calmed down despite his words.
--
A few days later, Larry is back in his hotel room by himself. He’s lying on his bed, reading his kindle. He has a whisky next to him, his drink of choice. His phone rings and he answers.
Larry – Hi Mum. How’s it going?...
Yes I’m fine…
No I’m not angry anymore…
I’m sure you did speak to Mike and he told you everything…
He’s wrong. I was just angry after the match, but I’m fine now. I swear…
No, my anger issues are fine, you know that…
No, it’s not going to be another CWC issue again, I’m not getting fired from this place, they need me…
Because I’m a fucking legend from Australia, that’s why…
Sorry mum, I won’t swear again. But I need you to do me two favours. One, please stop speaking to Mike, he’s a worry wart and will only get you worried for no reason. Secondly, remember that match I had…
Yes, I know I’ve had a lot of matches, let me explain before jumping in again. Remember that match I had against CCC at Festival Hall back about 6 years ago. Remember how after the match, when I won of course, he gifted me a package. Well, I never actually opened it, he told me it was for a special moment. Well I think I’ll be in special moments soon, can you please send it to me at my next match, I’ll send money for shipping, but I need it in time…
I haven’t given you the address, that’s why. I’ll text it to you. It’s at my place in Toorak, on top of my desk. You’ll recognise it, it has the stench of CCC and his stupid logo on it…
Thanks Mum, you’re the best…
I love you too. I’ll speak to you soon.
He hangs up the phone and smiles. We will have to wait to see what the package is.
--
A day later, Larry is taking a run around the local area. He’s in black running pants and a Larry Lansdowne t-shirt. He has a beanie on and airpods. As he is running he sees a kid looking at him and smiling. The kid, probably around 14 or 15, runs up to him with a phone. Larry stops, knowing what the kid wants and takes out his airpods.
Larry – Hey kid, what’s up?
Kid – You’re Larry Lansdowne right? The Aussie guy who’s new in CWF?
Larry - Yeah, good pick up, just trying to get match ready for my next match, taking on that British fu- (he stops himself in time), er British chap Eddie Williams.
Kid – Awesome. Can I get a quick selfie?
Larry smiles and bends down slightly to get a picture with the kid as he takes it.
Kid – You’re like my 6th or 7th favourite now. You were 9th but then you beat Eoin O’Rourke, and even though you needed help, I liked seeing that.
Larry grimaces a bit at that, it’s still a sore point.
Larry – Uh, thanks, I guess it’s an honour to make the top 10. But I didn’t need Gabriel’s help kid, so don’t go thinking that it’s because of him I won. He tries something like that, he’s going to get it. You watch, and tell all your friends, Larry is a winner, and doesn’t need help. I have my next match, and I want you to know, kid, that I will be victorious, I will win, and I will do it alone. You have my word on that. And if you don’t believe me, then you can go with all the other Aussie press and be surprised at what I do!
The kid looks a bit surprised. He wasn’t expecting a promo to him. Larry realizes what he’s done and looks at the kid.
Larry – Sorry kid, force of habit. Thanks for being a fan. And watch at Warzone, I’ll make you proud.
Larry puts his airpods back on and continues his run.
--
A week later, we open up once again in Larry’s private plane. He’s sitting there with Mike. They are drinking beers this time and looking a lot more relaxed than last time. They are in the middle of a conversation when Mike says something funny and they burst out laughing. They go quiet for a minute before Larry looks at Mike and starts to speak again.
Larry – So here we are again, on the way to another arena in America, with me trying to prove a point, and once again I’m wrestling some guy who isn’t even from the US. I mean I understand that wrestling is global, but if I wanted to wrestle against guys with weird accents from craphole cities, I would have stayed in Australia and wrestle against people from Frankston.
Mike laughs hilariously at that joke. Sadly, many not from Melbourne, Australia would not get that joke, but in Australia, it would have the crow eating out of his hand. But we digress.
Larry – And have you seen him? Talk about small man syndrome, I guess what he lacks in stature, he packs in bulk, except maybe downstairs. I mean, I don’t want to say he’s taking something, but you know, let’s be honest! Now, I’m not saying small men can’t wrestle, I’ve fought my fare share, and even lost one of them, but how the hell does he move being so top heavy? This is seriously one of the mysteries of life, one that we won’t get an answer about at Warzone.
Mike continues laughing. They both then take a sip and cheers with each other.
Mike – Did you see his latest comments on you? Apparently, he’s worried that you are missing? Guess he does care.
Larry – Yeah I saw his comments, a bit of a joke really. I’m amazed he has time to even think about me between all his crying about losing title matches. He thinks he’s been screwed over by everyone. My man, if you have to complain about everyone screwing you, maybe you should take a good look at yourself and realise that you may be the problem instead. I mean I wanted to win my match cleanly against that Irish dude, but then Gabriel Tuck interrupted and finished him for me. Was I happy? No. Did I smash a few lockers? Yes. But did I cry home to my mummy? Not a chance, I move on, and continue undefeated, the way I will stay after Warzone. Ok, well, she did call me, but that’s because of Mike here blabbing to her about me after the match.
Mike looks a bit embarrassed.
Larry – Those lockers got only a taste of you will get at Warzone Mr. Williams. You think you’re fucked off, well guess what, you got a man on a mission, a man who is still, despite what he says, pissed off at how he won last time at Warzone. More importantly, a man who feels he is still not getting the respect he deserves, so much that no one can seem to even spell his name right. For all the losers out there, it’s L-A-N-S-D-O-W-N-E. I don’t want to see a weird ‘d’ added in there or an ‘e’ left of the end. Give the me the respect I deserve.
Larry takes a sip of beer and tries to calm down. He then looks at Mike.
Larry – Sorry, I went on a bit of a rant, giving you a promo and anyone who may be watching. By the way, since you are so buddy buddy with my mother, did you confirm if she sent the package?
Mike nods.
Mike – Yes, we had a great chat, she’s doing well by the way. Just got a promotion, you might want to call her and wish her well. But I also confirmed, she found it and sent it. She also told me to tell you to please stop swearing so much, it’s so unbecoming and she brought you up better than that.
Larry laughs.
Larry – I love how she rewrites history. You should have heard the mouth on her when I was young, especially when I got in trouble. Anyway, we’re almost at the airport now. Only a few more days before I get my next victory and let Eddie’s chances of getting that Valor Championship go up in flames, like all his other titles he destroyed. He thinks he made a point with that? Nah, he’s just a pyromaniac who will be on the end of another whooping from me. See you soon Eddie!
Larry and Mike cheers again as the screen fades to black.
Mike - What’s wrong? You got the pin. Who cares how?
Larry – I fucking care! I came here to prove a damn point. I want to beat the best to be the best. Instead, I fight some weird demon that just disappears, and then, just when I was getting ahead and ready to finish off that idiot Irish man who’s name I can’t pronounce, Gabriel Tuck comes in and gets in my way. I don’t need help from anyone here, I can do it myself.
Mike – Forget about it, it’s just one match. Tuck is an idiot, I saw him get upset at a door before because he was pushing, when it said pull.
Larry – It’s my second match. Sure, I’m undefeated, but what’s the point if I didn’t actually do it myself. I can already see the headlines back home “Larry wins by default; can he really achieve success in the US?”. Screw them, I have my mission. Gabriel Tuck needs to stay out of my way, everyone here needs to stay out of my way and let me do this myself. I have my eyes on the big prize, and honestly, if someone interrupts again, I’ll beat the living shit out of them.
Mike – I love when you get angry. I want to see that Larry anger, it’s needed here. But forget it, you won, move on to whatever jobber they get for you next.
Larry – You’re right, I won, Gabriel is on my hitlist, and it’s time to move on. But the next guy I face better watch out. He’s already running into a steam train, and if anyone tries to jump in, I’ll destroy them both. I have a plan, my mission, and nothing will get in my way. There will be no failure, anyone who fights me will learn what Aussies can really do.
Larry grabs his gear and heads to the showers. On his way he smashes another couple of lockers, obviously not calmed down despite his words.
--
A few days later, Larry is back in his hotel room by himself. He’s lying on his bed, reading his kindle. He has a whisky next to him, his drink of choice. His phone rings and he answers.
Larry – Hi Mum. How’s it going?...
Yes I’m fine…
No I’m not angry anymore…
I’m sure you did speak to Mike and he told you everything…
He’s wrong. I was just angry after the match, but I’m fine now. I swear…
No, my anger issues are fine, you know that…
No, it’s not going to be another CWC issue again, I’m not getting fired from this place, they need me…
Because I’m a fucking legend from Australia, that’s why…
Sorry mum, I won’t swear again. But I need you to do me two favours. One, please stop speaking to Mike, he’s a worry wart and will only get you worried for no reason. Secondly, remember that match I had…
Yes, I know I’ve had a lot of matches, let me explain before jumping in again. Remember that match I had against CCC at Festival Hall back about 6 years ago. Remember how after the match, when I won of course, he gifted me a package. Well, I never actually opened it, he told me it was for a special moment. Well I think I’ll be in special moments soon, can you please send it to me at my next match, I’ll send money for shipping, but I need it in time…
I haven’t given you the address, that’s why. I’ll text it to you. It’s at my place in Toorak, on top of my desk. You’ll recognise it, it has the stench of CCC and his stupid logo on it…
Thanks Mum, you’re the best…
I love you too. I’ll speak to you soon.
He hangs up the phone and smiles. We will have to wait to see what the package is.
--
A day later, Larry is taking a run around the local area. He’s in black running pants and a Larry Lansdowne t-shirt. He has a beanie on and airpods. As he is running he sees a kid looking at him and smiling. The kid, probably around 14 or 15, runs up to him with a phone. Larry stops, knowing what the kid wants and takes out his airpods.
Larry – Hey kid, what’s up?
Kid – You’re Larry Lansdowne right? The Aussie guy who’s new in CWF?
Larry - Yeah, good pick up, just trying to get match ready for my next match, taking on that British fu- (he stops himself in time), er British chap Eddie Williams.
Kid – Awesome. Can I get a quick selfie?
Larry smiles and bends down slightly to get a picture with the kid as he takes it.
Kid – You’re like my 6th or 7th favourite now. You were 9th but then you beat Eoin O’Rourke, and even though you needed help, I liked seeing that.
Larry grimaces a bit at that, it’s still a sore point.
Larry – Uh, thanks, I guess it’s an honour to make the top 10. But I didn’t need Gabriel’s help kid, so don’t go thinking that it’s because of him I won. He tries something like that, he’s going to get it. You watch, and tell all your friends, Larry is a winner, and doesn’t need help. I have my next match, and I want you to know, kid, that I will be victorious, I will win, and I will do it alone. You have my word on that. And if you don’t believe me, then you can go with all the other Aussie press and be surprised at what I do!
The kid looks a bit surprised. He wasn’t expecting a promo to him. Larry realizes what he’s done and looks at the kid.
Larry – Sorry kid, force of habit. Thanks for being a fan. And watch at Warzone, I’ll make you proud.
Larry puts his airpods back on and continues his run.
--
A week later, we open up once again in Larry’s private plane. He’s sitting there with Mike. They are drinking beers this time and looking a lot more relaxed than last time. They are in the middle of a conversation when Mike says something funny and they burst out laughing. They go quiet for a minute before Larry looks at Mike and starts to speak again.
Larry – So here we are again, on the way to another arena in America, with me trying to prove a point, and once again I’m wrestling some guy who isn’t even from the US. I mean I understand that wrestling is global, but if I wanted to wrestle against guys with weird accents from craphole cities, I would have stayed in Australia and wrestle against people from Frankston.
Mike laughs hilariously at that joke. Sadly, many not from Melbourne, Australia would not get that joke, but in Australia, it would have the crow eating out of his hand. But we digress.
Larry – And have you seen him? Talk about small man syndrome, I guess what he lacks in stature, he packs in bulk, except maybe downstairs. I mean, I don’t want to say he’s taking something, but you know, let’s be honest! Now, I’m not saying small men can’t wrestle, I’ve fought my fare share, and even lost one of them, but how the hell does he move being so top heavy? This is seriously one of the mysteries of life, one that we won’t get an answer about at Warzone.
Mike continues laughing. They both then take a sip and cheers with each other.
Mike – Did you see his latest comments on you? Apparently, he’s worried that you are missing? Guess he does care.
Larry – Yeah I saw his comments, a bit of a joke really. I’m amazed he has time to even think about me between all his crying about losing title matches. He thinks he’s been screwed over by everyone. My man, if you have to complain about everyone screwing you, maybe you should take a good look at yourself and realise that you may be the problem instead. I mean I wanted to win my match cleanly against that Irish dude, but then Gabriel Tuck interrupted and finished him for me. Was I happy? No. Did I smash a few lockers? Yes. But did I cry home to my mummy? Not a chance, I move on, and continue undefeated, the way I will stay after Warzone. Ok, well, she did call me, but that’s because of Mike here blabbing to her about me after the match.
Mike looks a bit embarrassed.
Larry – Those lockers got only a taste of you will get at Warzone Mr. Williams. You think you’re fucked off, well guess what, you got a man on a mission, a man who is still, despite what he says, pissed off at how he won last time at Warzone. More importantly, a man who feels he is still not getting the respect he deserves, so much that no one can seem to even spell his name right. For all the losers out there, it’s L-A-N-S-D-O-W-N-E. I don’t want to see a weird ‘d’ added in there or an ‘e’ left of the end. Give the me the respect I deserve.
Larry takes a sip of beer and tries to calm down. He then looks at Mike.
Larry – Sorry, I went on a bit of a rant, giving you a promo and anyone who may be watching. By the way, since you are so buddy buddy with my mother, did you confirm if she sent the package?
Mike nods.
Mike – Yes, we had a great chat, she’s doing well by the way. Just got a promotion, you might want to call her and wish her well. But I also confirmed, she found it and sent it. She also told me to tell you to please stop swearing so much, it’s so unbecoming and she brought you up better than that.
Larry laughs.
Larry – I love how she rewrites history. You should have heard the mouth on her when I was young, especially when I got in trouble. Anyway, we’re almost at the airport now. Only a few more days before I get my next victory and let Eddie’s chances of getting that Valor Championship go up in flames, like all his other titles he destroyed. He thinks he made a point with that? Nah, he’s just a pyromaniac who will be on the end of another whooping from me. See you soon Eddie!
Larry and Mike cheers again as the screen fades to black.